Thursday, February 28, 2008

21 Meows

A before bed chat

A before bed chat

Shade~Will you stop staring at me, I am trying to get to sleep.
Goldie~I have to talk to you about something, it'll just take a minute.
Shade~OK, hurry up though. I need my 15 hrs beauty sleep.
Goldie~Did you see me get in trouble today, by a wee one?
Shade~Yeah, it was pretty funny. She's turning into a mini PM.

Goldie~She yelled at me for pooping outside and went around with her wee shovel scooping it. She..she...she called me a dog.
Shade~Hey, don't cry. I am sure she didn't mean it.
Goldie~But don't dogs poop wherever they want to? Going willy nilly all over the place? I thought I had my dig/bury routine down to a science.
Goldie~Look at this form, such poise, such strength.

Shade~You know...
Goldie~See, I do one side then do a reverse pivot to ensure complete coverage.

Shade~You poop in the snow.
Goldie~Well yeah, it's fluffy, perfect for digging, like sand in the winter.
Shade~It's like you poop in water.
Shade~When the snow melts it turns into water.
Goldie~Why didn't you say something?
Shade~You never asked and I thought you were just being your weird self.
Goldie~Snow turns into water?
Shade~Like crapping in a bathtub.

Monday, February 25, 2008

26 Meows



I got it, I got IT, I GOT IT!!!!!!!

Yes, I am great, I used my superb tracking and hunting skills and that sly mouse is GONE!!! I knew if I waited long enough, he'd make another appearance. It didn't last long though. I am sooooo good it scares me, really.

There was just a very small problem with the situation, a slight issue that put a damper on my enthusiasm.

I know, I know, not good.

I am not sure what happened but it has been so long since I got a vile mouse that I may have been a little too zealous with my post kill corpse fling.

As you can see, the mouse ended up IN the wee ones toy basket in the livingroom. The discovery of said mouse was actually really quite funny. Well, to me at least.

Wee one (2 1/2 yrs old)~ Momma, where is my moose?
PM~ Check your basket.
Wee one (2 1/2 yrs old)~(Takes all the big toys out)~ Momma, there's a mouse in here.
PM~Yes, that's what you were looking for.
Wee one (2 1/2 yrs old)~ No, a mouse.
PM~Isn't that what you wanted?
Wee one (2 1/2 yrs old)~ NO, a mouse. Come see.
PM~Ahhhhh! It is MOUSE.
Wee one (2 1/2 yrs old)~ That's what I saaaaaid!

Funny eh?

PM didn't think so. I got the "leave a dead mouse where I can see it right away" speech. They should be happy I am so fierce. What do they want, a house filled with vermin?

Any way, I am happy. MANCAT MONDAY indeed!

Friday, February 22, 2008

13 Meows

Watch her go!

Watch her go!


Well, I am in the doghouse, so to speak, today for sure. They are leaving AGAIN for the weekend as it is a wee ones birthday. Maybe I was rebelling again ,I don't know, but I jumped on the kitchen table not once, not twice but three times and drank milk out of the wee ones cereal. I don't know what came over me. I am not a big fan of oaty Os.

The PM was very mad and shut me in the bathroom. I know it was not a nice thing to do and it caused a crying fit in the morning but it's not like I pooped in it? Right?

What did you say? I had just cleaned my what?

Oh...I see. Well I can see your point there. Moving on.

We got to try out our new toys this week and I think there should be a course for wee ones on "How to properly play with your cat so they actually have fun, not just you". I felt attacked and dive bombed by the seagull and the feather twizzler was like a wrecking ball coming for my head. Obviously no cool action shots of me.

Shade, on the other hand had some alone time to play with the PM. Well, la-di-daa. Here is a very cool shot of her though. I couldn't believe it but she is up only on her back legs. Wow! She's feeling pretty spry. She also went outside for 4.5 seconds yesterday. It must be Spring coming.

I am going to made a member of the tuxie club and I am extremely excited. Enough of the ginger floof.

Witness the perfect yin-yang.

Subtle floof, no mats anywhere.

Gentle paw cross. Gorgeous spray of white on the knee. A pale sun rising from the black night.

Really awe inspiring if I may say so myself.

Well, the mouse hunt was a bust, dang it!!!! I stared until my tiny eyes felt like marbles. Shade thinks they went through the wall behind the heater and out. That wall is 3 feet thick with logs and cement so I doubt it. Maybe I maimed it in the preceeding chase and it is in there...dead. I am sure the PM will find out soon enough, her and her blasted super sniffer. That happened once before and the mouse crawled into one of the wee one's play kitchen, before it kicked the bucket. Yeah, not too pretty...a week later.

Well I want to introduce you to some beasts that arrived over the weekend. I am not quite sure what they do, but most of them don't look too friendly. Maybe they have sent in some recruits to aid me in the mouse hunt. They are a pretty quiet bunch though.

I stand my ground...not making eye contact...ignoring. That seems to works for Cesar Milan and those woofies. I am the pack leader, right? Is that how it goes with us felines? I don't know. I boss Shade around, doesn't that count for something?

It seems they are now ignoring ME.

Can I help you fellas with anything? You lost? Need to use the phone? Directions to the coffee shop? No?


Finally, they are home and I get to say something. I had all these interesting topics to debate and questions to pose but they all must wait as a MOUSE is in the house. I heard it running around while they were gone but damn these thumbless paws, I can not open the cupboards. Last night I scratched at them, hoping the PM would get the hint and she did. Upon inspection they found oatmeal and the worse, mouse droppings. Gross!!!! The PM is not too happy and they left the cupboards open so I could go hunting. Well, those little twirps are pretty quick but I now have one trapped under the heater.

I see you, I hear you, I smell you and I am not going anywhere.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

7 Meows

See ya snow!

See ya snow!

We can't talk long, I am going to Isis's teaparty and Goldie is going to hang out in the cat condo with Ramses and the other Mancats. The Pm and the wee ones are going away overnight and we don't care. We have plans too.

"Come on Goldie, you look fine. No, I can't really see your mats. Well... don't sit that way...curl your tail around...there, perfect Mancat stance."


Shade~ We had a quiet weekend. Goldie seems a bit solemn. He is either sleeping or incessantly asking for treats. The PM and the wee ones were out snowshoeing and he actually had to be coaxed outside. I, of course, simply watched from my bed. If you need large wooden feet add-ons to walk outside, I am having nothing of it.

I see Goldie overheard me talking to myself and blew it all out of proportion. He loves the drama so he looks for it everywhere. I was just brainstorming a bit as I was thinking of writing a romance novel. Everyone likes a bit of intrigue with their love. Right, my fellow lady cats?

I also spent time helping the PM with her sewing endeavors. See how I use my voluptuousness to gently press the fabric.

Here is the finished product. I can't believe she gave it to the Nanny, I thought it would look nice propped up next to my bed.

What is it? I can use the computer now? OK.

Wow, I have been power napping for a few days now. Gathering my strength and letting the stress go away on the wings of my dreams. Feeling better and ready to rumble with anything...in the house.

I am bit worried about Shade though. She has been bit by the green monster of envy and it is not good. I got a lot of attention this week for my kitty drama and she's feeling left out. I overheard her talking to herself, she thought I was still napping and she has an idea. She is planning a mock kidnapping with our crazy cat neighbor, Canon. She's envisioning all the concern if she goes missing for the day. Well...Canon is not really playing with a full bag of toys if you know what I mean. He refuses to use the door and has to have a window open for him to enter and exit the house. He is also a great hunter...of worms. Yuck!!!! That's what he goes out for, to dig these slimy things up and he brings them back inside. I wouldn't want to put my life in his paws, that is for sure. I don't think this great plan will get too far.

I now want to introduce you to my new toys. Ah yes, we have the Feather Ball Twizzler and the Flying Seagull Wand. I am going to tackle them this weekend. I'll invite Shade to join me, that'll get her mind off of that crazy scheme.

Ok, I don't want to be friends with a fox, I don't wish to live with them for the day. I am thinking about making a move back to the city.

I was feeling OK to go out, as long as there were no carpets in the vicinity. I normally just run out and right back in after I do my business as it has been so flippin' cold, but it wasn't that bad out. Since I found out the snow is OK to walk on top of, I decided to do a little look around. I hung out in front of the kitchen window for awhile then decided to take a little walk to the other side of the yard to visit my beloved sumac tree. I sniffed around a bit and then saw the PM in the doorway. I gave her my "I'm coming" nod and started to saunter across the yard.

Half way to the door, about 15ft away, something caught the corner of my eye and there standing at the corner of the house was the FOX! I was overcome with fear, I have to admit and dropped straight to my belly. Then the vixen made the craziest call I have ever heard in my life. She sounded like a prehistoric bird or something. I was paralyzed, staring at this wild creature. The PM was spooked too as she heard the call and opened the door. She came out yelling at me to "get my furry butt back in the house". I really couldn't move. The fox changed to her warning bark and I was bombared with yells and barks. The fox took a few steps toward me and I belly-knee-elbow ran to the door.

The PM turned around and the fox had ran to where I had been and was sniffing the snow. She opened the door and started yelling again for the fox to git. This went on for awhile. The PM yelling, the fox retreating a few steps and barking back. Then she did something totally out of character, she started growling. Yes the PM, my mom, not the fox. That worked though as the fox gave one more warning bark and ran into the field.

I have had a rough week, I don't want to think anymore.

PM here, I have talked to some people and we think maybe the fox thinks Goldie is a young fox. That is why she keeps hanging around and that loud cry could have been a call to the babies. The bark in a warning call and she did that at me but not at Goldie. She looked like she wanted to play with Goldie. I have to hoop and holler if I see her again and resort to throwing things if she doesn't run away at the sound of my voice. He will only be going out now flanked by bodyguards.

Shade~Goldie is sleeping, resting from his day so I am going to tell the story.

We had another long chat about the winter and how the snow has a thick crust on it due to all the freezing rain. Nothing scary. He was unsure until he saw the MusicMan and the wee ones out there walking on top of the snow too. He got his energy back and he went out with them. I said he should stay in and rest one more day but you know those young Mancats, they don't listen.

As the door was being shut I heard the MusicMan ask, "Hey Goldie, want to go on a crazy carpet ride?" My calls of "No, Goldie!" echoed in the house, unheard and I saw him run over to them.

Our yard has a slight incline and with all of the ice, it was the perfect sliding hill.

I watched in horror mixed in with a touch of anticipation as the MusicMan picked Goldie up and sat with him...on the crazy carpet...with the wee ones...on the top of the slope. The apricot fool had such a serene look on his face it was almost too much to bear, but I kept watching. They started moving, faster and faster, the crazy carpet making a loud, scraping sound in the quiet woods. Goldie's furr face contorted into something unrecognizable, then the flailing started. A blurr of paws, furr and limbs. Then as if plucked off the carpet by the unseen hand of Mother Nature herself, Goldie leaped and made a bee-line for the door, paws slipping out from under him all the way.

I know you shouldn't laugh in those types of situations but I couldn't help it. It was a spectacle to behold. Goldie looking like he had been through the war. I think it aged him a bit.

Goldie, ranting in the background~ Crazy carpet! Yeah, I was the crazy one! They should call it "a death ride"," a ticket to hell", "full speed to broken legs"...

Shade~ I better go, he needs me.

Monday, February 4, 2008

7 Meows

Mystery Monday

Mystery Monday

Goldie~ Things are a little weird around here.

The snow is shiny and thick. No fluff and softness.

The fox crept through our yard again. Brilliant in the light, swiftly trotting but not leaving any tracks...like a ghost.

This is...I don't believe it... a sunflower! A skeleton of brown and crispiness.

I am a little spooked. I don't want to go out anymore. Shade, can you hold my paw please?

Shade~ Just wait until the Mancat members see this, you'll get the boot for sure.

They are now back home and the woodstove is again glowing.

Goldie was pretty good while they were gone, just one accident right outside the litter box. It was like he didn't want to cause too much of a mess this time but still needed to get his point across.

We were tagged for a "What's new with you" meme by sweet Tesla and since Goldie did it last week, it is my turn. I am not going to pass this on though as it seems like most other cats have been tagged.

The best new thing is that they are back and the house is brimming again with life and heat but I will try to come up with something else of interest.

So.... Ok.

1. The PM has decided to take part in a big summer outdoor art and craft fair in August so the house is a buzz of organization and planning. I am all a flutter even though I really don't have a clue what is happening.

2. Four fabulous new containers have arrived and I think they should be made into four loungers/beds for me. Goldie would nap in any ratty, chewed, disintegrating heap of cardboard but I, obviously, am a little more refined. They moved me out here in the boonies but I still have my fine city cat sensibilities. The PM has said these boxes are for her wool and wire. I am thinking, one for wool, one for wire, two for me. Sounds fair.

3. Goldie may have found a new fetish. He drug out some of the PM's dyed sheep wool and found it very enticing, emitting strange almost scary sounds. She did not seem to appreciate the addition of cat spittle though.

© 2008 Sumac Stories by Goldie, Shade & Banshee - 3 Canadian Cats