There has been some more fighting between Shade and Banshee while everyone was away overnight at Christmas. When they returned they saw that Shade had another big scratch on her nose and the PM noticed on the weekend that Shade has pulled some fur off her side. At first she thought she was losing fur but she saw her washing and she'd pull out her fur in one spot. The PM feels that Shade is stressed because of Banshee. There is not much fighting when they are home but I think the PM intervenes and prevents wars from breaking out.
When the beans are gone, Banshee also worries she is going to starve and becomes a little crazy around the food. So the PM thinks she'll have to put Banshee or Shade in the playroom with food/water/litter and beds when they are gone. Shade also has to go to the V-E-T soon so she'll bring it up then.
Any suggestions? I worry the PM will start getting a stress bald spot too!!
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Shade, we are sorry that you are feeling a bit stressed out. We think it is a good idea to keep Banshee in the playroom when the beans are away, so she knows she is safe, and also can't get aggressive with Shade. Does she give Goldie a hard time?
When Evie was living with us, we started using Bach's Rescue Remedy in the waterbowls. We would put about 3 drops in a 500mL bowl. You can buy special pet mixes of Rescue Remedy, but we couldn't find any and used the human one. We saw benefits with it. Fui especially stopped seeming so anxious after about a week.
We have never used it, but a lot of people on Catster recommend the Feliway diffuser. As far as we understand, it is like one of those air freshener plug ins, only it has cat pheremones in it which are calming.
When Suey got freaked out by Evie, we started taking her into the bedroom for some one on one time with us, playing with her and giving her treats. She seemed to feel happier, I think it reminded her that she was our special girl.
Good luck! We hope things settle down very soon.
Oh dear, we are sorry there have been shenanigans between Shade and Banshee. Sometimes female cats do take some managing. That sure looks like a bit of overgrooming from stress to us. We'd suggest setting up Feliway diffusers in every room, get the spray Feliway too and spray all the places all the cats rub against- door frames, furniture, corners etc (this needs to be done every 3 days or for about a month) - make sure everyone has at least one safe, secret bed - wardrobes, closets are good and also some high up sleeping places where Shade or Banshee can retreat to and feel safe. High up is actually a sort of submissive/trouble avoiding place for cats, those on the floor rule the roost - so high up is a great retreat and a way to avoid conflicts. We think a safe room for either Shade or Banshee would be good too - especially at times when they are likely to clash. It's still early days yet with Banshee, cat dynamics can take a long while to settle down completely. We don't think Prozac should be the first port of call for situations like this as often these conflicts are part of the transient settling down period and Prozac can add to behavioural/group dynamic issues by masking the root issue. Best of luck!
.....and Banshee, quit being so sassy with Shade please.
Whicky Wuudler
I don't have any advice different to what everyone else has said. I know the Rescue Remedy works for dogs who are stressed too so maybe give that a go? And keep Banshee separated when the people are out, for a few days, so she knows she is not being kicked out. Somewhere nice and warm with some of her toys. I am not sure about the Feliway because we've never tried that. I hope something works!
Huffle Mawson
The Feliway diffuser worked for us when I moved in!
It's kind of expensive, but it was worth it!
We wouldn't dream of offering any advice as Mom has only had dogs before us. Mom is really very glad that we get along so well, although Gandalf is very territorial and chases any cat out of the yard.
A few years ago Mom brought home 2 puppies. Gandalf and I both ignored Mom completely for a week. We wouldn't even come into our bedroom to sleep or let Mom scritch us or anything. Mom was so heart broken she returned the puppies. Gandalf and I were quite thrilled, of course.
Others have given some very good advice. Feliway and Rescue Remedy can help. (We have feliway diffusers plugged in all over our house...2 on the main floor and 1 upstairs). We are still trying to integrate Zoey into our household...she's been a tough case and we resorted to consulting with an animal behaviorist. It could take a year for things to totally settle down.
The fact that Banshee and Shade do okay while the PM is home is good...you probably need to take some extra precautions while you are away or at night.
Good luck!
I'm so sorry the girls are having a tough time figuring it all out. I'll be purring for peace between them.
I think you are getting really good advice so we can't really add too much here except that if things don't settle down with trying these things get a good kitty behaviorist who can help you figure it out. We did that when Madison was having so much trouble and it helped us out a lot. Mine works over the phone (even though she is close by) so you don't need one in your area. If you end up needing that I can give you her information and website.
I have to admit I was very stressed out when Mommie brought that silly sister of mine in the house. I still get a little stressed out, ut ever since Mommie got me a Feli-way diffuser, I have been doing a whole lot better. Whenever I get stressed I go and give it a good sniff then I feel better. Maybe it could help you too.
Everyone has given such wonderful advice that we're just gonna give you support. Mom is just about convinced to get Feliway for us!
I have to admit that I have been grooming a couple of bald patches into my furs, too, because I am a little anxious around Harley. He is very rambunctious.
Oh no, we are so sorry to read about Shades stress with banshee.
We have never heard about that Feliway and would like to find out that.But we know rescue remedy. That works with the dog but I never get that into a cat.
I can tell the PM it is going better after a very long time with Luzie and Olli. The Christmas time is very exciting for the humans and for the cats too. Now the need time to calm down .
Good luck !
There is nothing else we can add to all the good advice. The bald patch is almost sure to be due to stress. When Eric was ill and smelled wrong, I hated him for a while and licked my tummy furrs away until I had a bright pink belly, but it has grown back now.
Flynn
Aww Shade poor baby!! Our first thoughts are that banhsee think when you leave her she is just being left again, and will lose her home.. She has not been there for long enough to feel like she properly belongs yet. Poor dear, and Shade is probably copping it. I think most defiantly i would be locking banshee in a room by herself when you are gone with her own amenities, but while you are there ,maybe let them duke it out a little, but oversee the dukes.
they have to work it the pecking order and once everybody knows their place it might all settle down.. but this is what we would do and are prolly wrong....
I hope Shade does not go bald...WE is purring you all work it out quick like, it took Mushka almost a year to get settled with me properly, but Momma would let us "work it out" until she heard bad distress then break it up :)
Poor Shade! I have no advice because I have always been the only cat in the house except for when my babies were there. Hope things work out soon for you all!
I also think for awhile you should seperate them for awhile. I am wishing you a Happy New Year.
Don't have a clue as to what to do about the fighting???? Maybe into seperate rooms when they are alone. Won't be fun for them but at least no one will get hurt.
Wishing you the best for the New Year 2009!
Gerls, pfft. My sisfurs haf lived together fur almost 7 years and barely tolerate each other. Dey don't fight anymore but Zippy will still hiss Sadie because Sadie thinks it's funny to tease Zippy by following her and staring at her. Dey will both lay on either side of me and not fight but dat is because I won't tolerate da fighting. Der are a lot of good sugjestchuns here. We is not gonna sugjest yoo gets a peace making mancat...hehehe~Speedy
I lived at my house for a year and then Onyx showed up and moved in. He thought he could take over and be boss. We fought all the years he was here. He would eat my food to try to convince me the people weren't feeding me. The Food Lady was always yelling at him, "Onyx, you a_________ (bad word)", when he ate my food or was mean to me. My people just tried to give lots of love to each of us. I had alot of stress with Onyx being around. This was before the remedies existed. But even though we fought, we were able to exist in the same house. Onyx went to the bridge a couple of years ago.
Halloween
We agree that separation during the times they can't be supervised would be a great idea! *purrs and kitty kisses to Shade*
we were going to suggest rescue remedy or feliway as well. sounds like a good plan when you're away to keep them separated.
Hi Shade. We understand that you're feeling sort of stressed out with Banshee around, and you're a good kitty...you're pulling out your own fur instead of attacking Banshee! I hope peace will be restored...keeping the two of you separated while the hoomans aren't around but letting you two girls work things out when they are around sounds like a good idea. Unfortunately, the two of us peaceful male cats live with two cranky female cats...Sylvie thought she was queen until Gingy came to live with us. Gingy thinks she's the queen. When Sylvie sees Gingy, she growls and hisses her. Then Gingy sneaks up and swats Sylvie. So they are both to blame! And it's been like this for 2 years now! At least Sylvie only screams at Gingy a couple of times a week, usually when she feels cornered. *sigh* Hope things work out for you guys!
your friends,
Louie and Fuzzy
Poor Shade. I can't offer any advice because I have always been the only kitty in the house. It sounds like you have received some excellent advice from the kitties on the Cat Blog. Good luck.
Poor sweet Shade. Banshee you need to mellow out and give some loving to Shade!
Awwww poor Shade...we think that putting Banshee in a safe room is a good idea while everyone is away. We are still having problems with our Ping. We think it's stress related too. We tried the Feliway but it didn't help him (he's spraying) but most people seem to think it's very helpful.
purrs
Oh dear, I hope this all gets worked out between Shade and Banshee. Sending lots of good thoughts, peaceful ones.
Poor Shade. I don't have any good advice, but it looks like you have some excellent advice above.
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